Healthier Me to Healthier We
I was peering through my kitchen window this morning watching the eastern light begin to illuminate our wooded valley when a bird flew by. It was on its way to warm itself from a cool, and hopefully, peaceful night. Its whole world is the forest near my home. I don’t think about that whole world, or the worlds of others, often enough. I am concerned with filling the holes in my world.
There is a selfishness that pervades our postmodern world. There is an entitlement that hides under personal freedoms and fear. These societal ills procreate largely due to poor communication. If I say what I feel or think, what I have done or want to do, I will be condemned. My philosophical hole is more important than your whole.
There are several steps we have taken on this path that lead to darkness. I need to take care of myself first. The good thing is that more people are willing to admit they have a hole or a whole bunch of holes. This admission allows us to refocus on the problem and not other people whom I perceive to be in my way. This admission is not the selfish part in our societal degradation. I need to present the healthiest “me” that I can today. Doing that every day keeps us engaged in self-betterment.
The problem starts when I can’t or won’t admit to my weaknesses or unhealthy self. It continues when I think I’m healthy enough and the problem must belong to someone else. It becomes a monster when I band together with other like-minded people who remain closed to change. The hole in my world becomes a chasm when eroded by this kind of selfishness. This is the kind of hole that devours joy and hates what it doesn’t understand.
If I don’t understand myself, but I aim to become healthier, then I am trying to comprehend myself. If I am healthy enough to interact with other people in any capacity from social media to face-to-face, then I can ask how they understand themselves. Asking questions with the right timing, tone, and volume can open channels. Once open, others will ask you questions, then you can share. Opinion does not have to be opposition. We can agree to disagree as long as we have heard the other perspectives, and we have thought through our perspective, and we are willing to continue hearing other perspectives.
Once I find common ground with another perspective, and it is always there, then there is a “we”. We may present a new set of holes. We is more powerful than me. We has a louder voice. We can abuse others just like me. So with more power comes more responsibility. Monitor your me as you engage in we. Is me changing for the better when interacting with we? If not, me needs to step back in order to become healthy again. Sometimes me re-engages with that we. Sometimes positive change occurs and sometimes me needs a new we.
Change is organic. Personal evolution will happen and you get to control your own mindset. That mindset can be good for you and the people around you or you can poison the well that everyone drinks from.
To help me understand me:
~ Set aside time daily to peruse your own mind for problems, uneasiness, or mysteries
~ Check in on your true feelings several times a day to keep from stuffing emotions
~ Consider the person you were five years ago. How have you changed since then?
~ Embrace all facets of yourself ranging from good to still learning and past/present/future
~ You know you best. Decide how and to whom you will share your personal growth story
To help me understand you:
~ Instead of asking: “How are you?”, try “How are you different today?”
~ Agree to listen to a friend with no response in mind, then enjoy the thoughtful silence
~ Put yourself in the shoes of someone from another culture with their resources or mindset
~ Ask about the process of growing up and away from one’s parents
~ Inquire about the origins of another’s personal spirituality
To help us understand them:
~ Take friends to visit an unfamiliar religious institution and discuss the trip with them
~ Attend a speech of someone with another political affiliation
~ Support the endeavors of someone from another social class than your group
~ Get permission to take your family to another family’s reunion
~ Explore how other groups value education and learn their reasons for progressing or not
There is a whole world of differences out there among us. We don’t have time to understand all of them. We do have time to grow within ourselves, then reach out to grow, and then partner with each other to grow. This is not an option. This is the only way to save the hole world. The whole world is depending on you.
Paul Kolak
6/30/16
There is a selfishness that pervades our postmodern world. There is an entitlement that hides under personal freedoms and fear. These societal ills procreate largely due to poor communication. If I say what I feel or think, what I have done or want to do, I will be condemned. My philosophical hole is more important than your whole.
There are several steps we have taken on this path that lead to darkness. I need to take care of myself first. The good thing is that more people are willing to admit they have a hole or a whole bunch of holes. This admission allows us to refocus on the problem and not other people whom I perceive to be in my way. This admission is not the selfish part in our societal degradation. I need to present the healthiest “me” that I can today. Doing that every day keeps us engaged in self-betterment.
The problem starts when I can’t or won’t admit to my weaknesses or unhealthy self. It continues when I think I’m healthy enough and the problem must belong to someone else. It becomes a monster when I band together with other like-minded people who remain closed to change. The hole in my world becomes a chasm when eroded by this kind of selfishness. This is the kind of hole that devours joy and hates what it doesn’t understand.
If I don’t understand myself, but I aim to become healthier, then I am trying to comprehend myself. If I am healthy enough to interact with other people in any capacity from social media to face-to-face, then I can ask how they understand themselves. Asking questions with the right timing, tone, and volume can open channels. Once open, others will ask you questions, then you can share. Opinion does not have to be opposition. We can agree to disagree as long as we have heard the other perspectives, and we have thought through our perspective, and we are willing to continue hearing other perspectives.
Once I find common ground with another perspective, and it is always there, then there is a “we”. We may present a new set of holes. We is more powerful than me. We has a louder voice. We can abuse others just like me. So with more power comes more responsibility. Monitor your me as you engage in we. Is me changing for the better when interacting with we? If not, me needs to step back in order to become healthy again. Sometimes me re-engages with that we. Sometimes positive change occurs and sometimes me needs a new we.
Change is organic. Personal evolution will happen and you get to control your own mindset. That mindset can be good for you and the people around you or you can poison the well that everyone drinks from.
To help me understand me:
~ Set aside time daily to peruse your own mind for problems, uneasiness, or mysteries
~ Check in on your true feelings several times a day to keep from stuffing emotions
~ Consider the person you were five years ago. How have you changed since then?
~ Embrace all facets of yourself ranging from good to still learning and past/present/future
~ You know you best. Decide how and to whom you will share your personal growth story
To help me understand you:
~ Instead of asking: “How are you?”, try “How are you different today?”
~ Agree to listen to a friend with no response in mind, then enjoy the thoughtful silence
~ Put yourself in the shoes of someone from another culture with their resources or mindset
~ Ask about the process of growing up and away from one’s parents
~ Inquire about the origins of another’s personal spirituality
To help us understand them:
~ Take friends to visit an unfamiliar religious institution and discuss the trip with them
~ Attend a speech of someone with another political affiliation
~ Support the endeavors of someone from another social class than your group
~ Get permission to take your family to another family’s reunion
~ Explore how other groups value education and learn their reasons for progressing or not
There is a whole world of differences out there among us. We don’t have time to understand all of them. We do have time to grow within ourselves, then reach out to grow, and then partner with each other to grow. This is not an option. This is the only way to save the hole world. The whole world is depending on you.
Paul Kolak
6/30/16
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